Friday, July 28, 2006

Prudes And Shrewds Everywhere, And Not A Way To Escape

I have one quick rant to put before you. Frankly, I think all of you women out there who think breastfeeding should not be allowed in public areas are, quite frankly, idiots. Now don't get me wrong, I still respect you, but I think you are being ridiculous. Here's why:

I'm sure you think the breast is a sexual object, even though it's primary design is to allow a newborn to eat. So you want to cover it. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is, why are you so damn concerned about the sexuality of a breast during feeding, when you hardly see the nipple, and only see the "fat" of the breast? If this is such a problem, why can I

1) step outside my door onto the street on any day of the week and see hordes of scantily clad women showing meat of breast, meat of butt cheek, legs, stomachs, thighs, or any other type of sexually provocative clothing

2) turn on my tv or open any magazine and see anything and everything from "100 ways to please your man" to hot and heavy lingerie adds

3) see the population supporting en mass celebrities who promote hedonism

4) Oh I don't know, just see lots of women practicing the "if you got it flaunt it" mentality.

Now I'm going to give credit where credit is due. You are right when you assume that men, seeing women breastfeeding in public, may begin to drool uncontrollably and start humping tree trunks and parking meters like some crazed rabbit or dog. But what you fail to realize is breasts are not the only thing that does this to men. You've got the breasts, but also hips, thighs, legs, ankles, feet, arms, hands, collarbones, necks, hair, eyes, and practically anything else on your body will get us going. These all will entice men.

So, If you're really wanting to protect yourself from the prying eyes of lusting men, please, by all means, start wearing a birka. Anything else would be inconsistent. Think that is a bit ridiculous? So is thinking women breastfeeding in public is disgusting.

It wouldn't work anyway. We men can still see your eyes when you wear a birka, and that's probably enough to send us into uncontrollable heat.