Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Experts? Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves

Since our first baby reached teething age early my wife and I have been reading and absorbing as much teething literature as we possibly could. Our son now is eleven months old and has twelve teeth. I had read many forums where parents had stated that their babies, when teething their molars, would have intense pain and would wake up in the middle of the night. Flying in the face of all these parents, however, were the experts who repeatedly and consistently said that teething pain was not painful enough to wake a baby.

Not painful enough?

This is not a picture of our son having awakened at 4am with teething pain.



This is not a picture of our son having awakened at 4am with teething pain, doing whatever he can to rub his gums and make himself feel better.



This is not a picture of our son having awakened at 4am with teething pain, doing whatever he can to rub his gums and make himself feel better, clearly begging me to alleviate this pain in any way I know how.



Again, this is not a picture of our son having awakened at 4am with teething pain.



Am I a cruel father for taking a picture of my son at 4am when he had intense teething pain? Absolutely not. Am I a father who loves his son so much that he would take a picture of him simply to make a point, putting these experts in their place? You're damn right I am.

Experts. In today's world, everyone is a smart-ass know-it-all. In a world of experts, knowing everything is the norm and knowing nothing is special.

We live in a world of experts. where anyone can find an expert who will tell them whatever nickel and dime opinion they want to hear. Experts are standing on the auction block before us all, whoring themselves for top dollar to whoever will believe their nonsensical take on reality as they see it.

Experts argue convincingly daily opposing sides of court cases, obviously giving expert interpretation of evidence. Experts give people crackpot quack psychological advice to more people than the actual trained psychologists could ever hope to give. Experts tell us that one ounce of body fat makes us obese, eating a cheeseburger clogs our arteries, pills will help us lose weight faster than reasonable diet and simple exercise, spanking our children is bad, spanking our children is good, global warming is bad, global warming is good, X, Y, Z, A, E, I, O, U, and it never ends.

There may be reasons why some of these things may or may not be true. However, in the case of teething pain and awakening at night, when an expert tells me that it doesn't happen, I can defiantly say "you're just plain wrong." I guess I could hit him angrily with a crowbar, but experts tell me that acting on my anger is bad.