Well, my happy readers, I've been hiding in a cave for almost a year now, but it seems I need to stick my head out into the noonday sun once again, not because I've been destined to blow my top, but because I had a discussion with someone close to me recently who, surprisingly, told me he still checked my blog daily to see what I was going to write about. After one year, checking daily, I must admit I felt somewhat ashamed. So, with El Destructor in bed, I feel it my obligation to continue this rambling paragraph as best I can, and hopefully find something of note to utter somewhere in-between.
First things first. The past year has had its ups and downs. We're all still alive, we're all in relatively good health, the wife's job is going well, I'm trying to get work done on a novel, yada yada yippity doo and there that's done.
I recently took up drawing as well and have discovered I have quite a talent for it. Here are a few examples:
This is my picture titled "Sayi." I drew this from a picture of a lady's eyes that I had for some time. The eyes seemed to tell a story to me, and as I drew the eyes, I added the headwear. The picture, of course, means something to me, but what is most important is what it means to you.
I love pictures of dancers, and this was my first attempt at putting a dancer on paper. I wish I knew how to rotate the picture so that you can see it properly. Maybe one of the readers will be gracious enough to point out how to do that and I will fix it. As expected, both these pictures are my property, and as such fall under the copyright laws of the United States.
I have many more drawings completed and maybe someday I'll post some more.
I like to draw as much as I can. It seems to be a sort of meditative exercise for me, clearing away all the mental chatter and twisted emotions that can run rampant through my mind and body. It brings me a sense of calm, refreshes me, and gives me strength and will to return to the stress of daily life.
Stress, for example, caused when the reverend John Hagee decided to speak out against stay-at-home dads. That one really got to me, obviously. I kept the feelings inside, bottled up, until I could draw or write, and the emotions eased away, but I still had a desire to give that man a piece of my mind.
Mr. (and I say Mr. because whatever respect I would have had for this man as a minister is GONE) Hagee said: "...for others it's laziness. you are too lazy to work and support your children. I'm talking about men. You call yourself Mr. Mom, God calls you a Bum. St. Paul says you are worse than an infidel. Let me look you right in the eye and tell you that hell is your future home. If all you do is sit on your backside and let your wife support you in your life."
They had the verse of 1 Timothy 5:8 flashed on the screen, so i decided to look it up and see what it said.
From the Holy Bible, NIV, 1 Timothy, 5:8:
"You should provide for your relatives. Most of all, you should take care of your own family. If you don't, you have left the faith. You are worse than those who don't believe."
Yeah, sounds scary. But then I noticed that it didn't say a thing about working outside the home. It says "those who don't provide". To me, that's a dead-beat dad. That isn't a stay-at-home dad. Is there a difference? Well, I decided to write a little letter to John Hagee.
Mr. John Hagee
False Minister and False Prophet
Some Kooky Church
Some Kooky City and State
Regretfully, in the U.S.A.
I recently heard your description of a stay-at-home dad as being lazy, a bum in God's eyes, when I saw a clip of your wonderful evangelical program on the internet. I felt I needed to respond, despite the response falling on deaf ears, to these horrible allegations.
First of all, I feel you may have misrepresented the Bible verse. According to 1 Timothy 5:8 it is a man who does not provide for his family that is destined for hell, not a man who provides for his family by providing through work at home. Surely, we must have some confusion over the definition of provide , so I decided to help you out a bit.
While it is clear to me that one as experienced as yourself in the ways of marriage would find great understanding of the relationship between a husband and wife and their roles as providers in the household, I feel that perhaps your first wife could have given some pointers to you about some things that, just maybe, you didn't realize.
First of all, to say that a stay-at-home dad is a bum is to say a stay-at-home mom is a bum. Both perform the same actions, and to not respect the work of the former is to not respect the work of the latter. As implied by your discussion, a good mother is one who stays at home, so therefore, in your words, the work of all mothers is lazy, and all mothers are bums in the eyes of God. I'm sure the sudden absence of your first wife would have given you a slight indication of the error in your judgment, had you not been blinded by your own pride and self-righteousness.
It is obvious that you have no understanding of the work that a stay-at-home parent performs, whether it is a stay-at-home father or a stay-at-home mother.
A stay-at-home parent does not sit on his or her rear on the sofa all day eating cheesy-puffs and watching soaps in between loads of laundry. The work of a stay-at-home parent is not a 9 to 5 job. It is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job. When not sitting on the sofa eating cheesy-puffs, the stay-at-home parent is ensuring that your child is getting 3 or more nutritious meals per day; is helping him learn to read; is comforting her and taking care of her skinned knee; is taking him to the emergency room in the middle of the night when he has a 103 degree fever; is teaching her how to toilet train; is sitting up with him when he is sick, gladly shrugging off the vomit and excrement just so you can stroke his hair and help him feel better; is doing your dishes; is washing your clothes, is cleaning your toilet seat because you can't seem to not miss when you pee; is ironing your shirts, is taking your kids to school; is picking up your crap from the dry cleaner; is going to the grocery store and cooking your damn dinner and most importantly, is keeping his or her mouth shut when they listen to your misguided bitching about something that you know nothing about.
Who are you, sir, to demand of stay-at-home dads to repent from their ways and provide for their families? Only a drooling moron would not see the providing performed that I have mentioned, and, to use a cliche, that really is the tip of the iceberg.
And what of you, sir? What do you provide? Do you take all of your children to their baseball games? Do you have your picture made with them when they win first place on their debate teams? Did you build your daughter a dollhouse? Did you teach your older children to drive? Did you have an intelligent conversation with your children about how bad drugs can be? Did you even approach the topic of sex at all, or did you just hope it was covered in the child support check?
What kind of work do you do, sir? You stand behind a podium and bitch at people and make them afraid, so afraid that they give their blood, sweat, and tears to you in their tithes? Is that work? I know for a fact I could do that. Would you like to trade jobs with me? Trade your podium and narcissism for martyrdom and stinky poopie diapers?
If you'd ever really like to talk about this, as adults, my blog comments are always open.
Thank you very much and have a nice day.