Something has been bothering me lately.
See, recently i know of some peeps that got a divorce. These peeps were very close to me. Seems person A in the divorce was unhappy with person B, and said that after all their years of marriage person A never was happy, hated person B, told everyone about how bad person B was, destroyed person B's reputation with many of person B's friends in town irrevocably, and continues to complain about person B's role in person A's marital disatisfaction and blames person B for the disunion.
Now here's the kicker. Person A and B also have a child, who I will name Clara. Clara is a very dear friend of mine, and Clara tried her best to help person A and person B work out their differences (yeah that was wrong but Clara thought it was her duty at the time). Now listen to this: Person A gets all wigged out over Clara's need to talk about the pain and try to work things out, so person A and Clara have a big emotional fight and sever their communications.
Time passes. Person A and Clara tried once to work things out, but it failed. After that, there was no communication. NOTHING. NADA. NO WORDS. NO ACTS.
Now here's what I just don't get. After a couple years, person A has many times trespassed on person B's property (person A has given up all rights and privileges to the property in the settlement) and person B clearly does NOT want person A there. Yet person A continues to try to make amends: person A leaves gifts for person B, person A calls person B on the telephone. Person B has since remarried and has a new family.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!
Wouldn't you think that after several decades of an unhappy marriage where you just totally hated your spouse, never was happy, had NO GOOD MEMORIES (direct from the horse's mouth), and totally demonized and destroyed someone's reputation... wouldn't you think this person (person A) would just leave person B THE HELL ALONE?
And further, why would person A continue to bait and taunt Clara by telling her person A can only allot 30 minutes on a freaking phone call to try to make amends because person A has been HURT too much by CLARA? And even then, to tell Clara that person A has spent 2,000 dollars on therapy "just cause person A loves Clara?"
GIVE ME A #*%KING break!
IS THERE SOME DISPLACED ANGER HERE?
and lets not forget the close to 10k CLARA and CLARA's spouse spent on therapy to get through her parent's problems, not counting the missed paychecks from work leave because of the emotional turmoil this crap caused.
in this day and age 2,000 dollars, in the world of therapy, is NOTHING. that's like a month of sessions. That is, unless you're paying 10 bucks a session to some half-wit half-rate "empath" who gives you a license to do whatever the hell you want just to keep you coming in and giving money. Is there a formal degree on that counselor's wall? I doubt it.
And why even be so hesitant to make amends with your own child, when AFTER YOUR LIFE WAS DESTROYED by your spouse you're so hot and bothered to set things right with him/her?
THIS STUFF JUST DON'T ADD UP.
Why isn't person A trespassing on Clara's property to make amends? Where's the phone calls? Are two conversations where you tried to make amends more hurtful and destructive than ~four freaking decades of marriage with a "MONSTER"?
Can anyone explain this to me?