Monday, December 26, 2005

Carpenters' 759 Performs Brain Surgery

Ok. What is it with company outsourcing? I think that's what they call it. You know it looks like a good idea on paper, but in reality, THIS IDEA IS SHIT!

I am, to use a cliché, sick and tired of having to talk to some handjob in alabama or michigan to get something done in my own hometown. HOW CAN THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON 3000 MILES AWAY?


We had fast access dsl by bellsouth installed when we first moved in. I think yes, we talked to some drooling retard (no offense to real retards) in alabama. A yes woman.

Sure... they can install it. Sure.. there's no problem. Sure, I can't find east tennessee on a map, but sure, we'll get it done.

They install it. We had the service for one week and the damn thing never worked. Now i like to consider myself somewhat technologically savvy in the internet category (seeing as it was my job) and i was taking it personally that i couldn't get the damn thing to work. So i called bellsouth, finally got through and someone did a netsniff and found the signal dying very badly in my neighborhood. So she scheduled a technician, from michigan. or alabama? Who knows.

So the technician came out, came right to my door, knocked, and said "i'm sorry sir but this service just isn't going to work here." He told me the way the infrastructure is lain, the main trunk is less than 100 yards from my house, but the branch goes 3000 out of the way before it comes back to me. So I guess drunk one eyed morons with no depth perception and sense of direction lay lines for bellsouth. I mean what kind of moron designs like that. And we say we are superior beings. Let me tell you, walking upright doesn't go very far when paired against designs like this.

Well i called bellsouth to cancel the service. The lady asks me, why sir, if i may ask, are you cancelling it? I said "cause the damn thing doesn't work." She asked how I knew that, and i told her the bellsouth technician told me so. She was surprised he had said that, and was feeling really guilty because she had no idea they had that problem in my area. I told her not to worry about it, because how could she know we had that line problem? SHE'S 2000 MILES AWAY!

I think they do this on purpose, that way they can give you shoddy workmanship, string you on for a few months payment, then not get you to disconnect because you can't even get through. More on this theory in the next post.

But anyways, I just wonder when my surgery is going to be subcontracted. I think it would be great to be spackled up by a carpenter instead of stitched up by a surgeon. Maybe I can get a catalytic converter installed instead of lungs. Who knows.

Things like this make me want to read old mary worth comics.

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