Monday, December 26, 2005

Conspiracy Theory #245, Version 2.1

Ok. Everybody gather 'round, cause i got something to say. We live in a world where corporate entities rule. They make their own laws, and do what they can to subjugate the populace into a state of mindless slavery, walking from point to point as sheep being led to shearing. Or cows to slaughter. Whatever is easier for you to imagine.

No, I'm not talking about enron, george bush, or drilling in alaska. I'm talking about comcast cable.

They, like every other internet, tv, phone, or similar service, are all in on this.

This is what they do. The first thing you get when you call in is "press 1 if you are an existing customer, press 2 if you are seeking to add services". This is where they get you. If you press 2, you go straight to a current queue where a csr will answer your call as soon as possible. Why? cause they want to look good enough for you to sign a contract, give them money, and get pushed into the limbo of being a subscriber.

Because what happens is simple. Once they have you hooked, and say you have a problem with your service, the minute you press 1 on that menu, you get thrown into the bottomless pit of calls on hold.

And you're on hold, for hours and hours.

And you can't cancel your service, because you have to press 1 to get that far, and then you're on hold. Because if you're on hold, you can't cancel, and you still have to pay.

That's the corporate service limbo trap.

I've seen it everywhere. Comcast does it. Bellsouth did it. Insight cable, who I used to work for, did it.

And then if you go to the only local paycenter (cause you don't want to call michigan) they tell you they only accept payments and can't add or delete service.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Snake Blisken were around to send us all into a technological dark age. POWER TO THE PEOPLE! Don't worry comcast, I got my two cups and string. It is more reliable than your service. Trust me.

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